Throughout my 31 years of life, I know I have made many mistakes, one of it is hurting people with or without the intention to, directly or indirectly. I am a flawed human. But I have learnt to ask for forgiveness from everyone and I am also now able to forgive everyone and myself easily.
I sometimes think that I forgive too easily. I can wake up the next day as if nothing has happened and carry on with my relationship with anyone who has hurt me the day before. It may appear that all is well on the surface, but sometimes I still carry the anger or hurt inside all the while putting on a facade. So I finally realised, it really isn't forgiveness.. It is just burying. The danger of burying things is that it may be dug out and if that happens, all the hurt, anger, pain returns and sometimes, amplifies.
Huge flaw to this system that I have lived with for so long. So I learn.
I am slowly learning to really forgive and forget. It is hard, but I try. Before I go to sleep, I think of all that has happened and pray that Allah SWT forgives me and everyone around me so that when I wake up, not only can I carry on with my relationships with everyone but actually go through every single day with no remorse or anger, in shaa Allah. But sometimes it requires us to, albeit painfully, move on and say goodbye in order to do so.
Through so many conversations, soul searching and plenty of reading, I have come to the conclusion that in order for me to move on is to cut off all ties with those who have hurt me. I now understand why someone I used to know did it. It was probably the easiest option. Life is too short to live it with anger and negativity. Forgive. But you don't have to continue the relationship. It won't make you or him/her bad people.
