*Inserts cliche about how time flies here*
More than half a year since I actually posted something in here and so much has happened. I wish that everything was just rosy, fine and dandy.. but that's not how life works. If everything was perfect, then there is really nothing to look forward to in the Hereafter.
We lost my nini laki this year. It took me a long time to fully grasp the fact that he was gone. I was not by his side when he took his last breath. I was stuck in KL, as I had work obligation the day before he left. I was scheduled to fly the day after... I looked forward to kissing his cheeks, to hug him, to see him make his silly faces.. the Wednesday before (two days before he passed away), I dreamt I was with him - he looked much younger with a full head of black hair. In the dream, we were at my parents' place and I was by the window, looking outside and I could see the ground was covered with a blanket of beautiful snow.. snow! in Brunei! I looked to nini and he just smiled. Then I woke up.. I told ibu about it and she told me it's time to come back home.. I wanted to go home so badly but I had some obligations to attend to here... Throughout the event, I kept checking my phone and got so anxious whenever I see a missed call - fearing the worst.
On Friday, 30th March, I woke up to so many calls from Ibu... and I knew. I knew. Rafie took control of everything, bought tickets for us to fly the next morning, instead of my scheduled evening flight. I spent the whole night just thinking of all the last words I could have said to him, the missed hugs.. I sat in the living room alone just trying to imagine him holding me and comforting me.
When we arrived home the next day, babah and ibu picked us up from the airport and took us to breakfast. They comforted me and told me how my nini went peacefully and in no pain. His last words to his caretaker (someone the family hired to take care of nini during the day when babah or his siblings are at work), was to pack up his things because the doctor told them that he will be discharged the same day. Little did he know, or maybe he did, that he was going back home for good, home to his Creator. Babah and ibu told me so many people came to see him off at the masjid. Alhamdulillah. I felt at peace knowing so many loved ones came to perform solat jenazah.
Later on during the day, we went off to KB so Rafie & I could visit nini's grave. I was holding back tears just looking at the freshly covered grave. We had tahlil and doa arwah before we said goodbye to him.
He was a good man. Was. It still hurts to refer to him in the past tense.. Nini was the type of person who would do anything for his family. Whenever babah was away for work, especially when babah was posted to Jeddah, nini would live with my family in Rimba and help look after everyone. I remember many years ago when I took up a part time job before deciding to continue my further studies, nini would be the one to send me off to work and pick me up.. sometimes, he would even pick me up during lunch time and then send me back after. Technically he had to leave home 4 times to pick up and drop off. I think he grew tired of driving me so he forced me to finally take up my driver's license - he even paid for everything! =P I only ended up getting my driver's licence the following year after he kept asking and then finally making my parents force me to take it. He told me I should be independent and so I tried.
My heart still hurts but I know in shaa Allah, I will see him again. Till then, I will continue to keep him in my prayers and pray for that sweet reunion.
