How to be happy?

This post is not really about my own solution on how to be happy but rather just what I come across when looking it up on google. LOL. So if you're looking for a solution, click the X on the right hand corner or go back to google. Haha

I am always on the look out for all these tips / suggestions on how to be happy. It's funny because I have never really tried to follow the suggestions even after looking them up. Often times I find myself getting sad over the smallest of things, like when seeing the double / triple chin in my selfies. Pfft! Other times its the big things that tears me up.. Things that I can't be bothered to bring up now. Anyways, after much time contemplating (googling "How To Be Happy" LOL), I figure I should actually start slowly. 

It's all supposed to start with ourselves, no? We shouldn't rely on others to make ourselves happy. We are responsible for our own happiness. Be grateful for what we have and also for what we don't have.. Allah SWT has a reason why He hasn't given us what we long for, right? He is the best of planners. Syukur Alhamdulillah for everything.

I also find myself always trying to please others even if it means that sometimes I will get hurt in the end. My closest friends would tell me that I let people walk all over me and treat me like a doormat. Its harsh, but true. I get hurt easily, I forgive easily.. but I don't forget so easily. I bruise easily *queue song*. Haha. But in all seriousness, I want to start standing up for myself and learn to say No. Although it's going to be hard, but I think it's time. Life is too short to spend it all on trying to please everyone around me.

LOL. I think I do this alot! I am blessed to have a husband who has a great sense of humour and who will try his best to make me laugh even when situations are tense (sometimes this can be annoying! Sorry, yang =P ) but Alhamdulillah nonetheless. 

I have no problem with spending time alone as I get to do almost every mornings til afternoon, though technically not really alone as I am always with Bella. I enjoy my time alone and as much as I love spending time with my husband, I look forward to my "me-time". I know my husband enjoys his too. We all need our "me-time"s. I would just read a book, go on pinterest, catch up on my tv shows, etc. 

Oh, there really is no problem with me and sleep. We're really on good terms. I fall asleep easily. One minute I am talking to my husband, next he hears me snore softly. His words, not mine. HAHA. I seriously don't know though how having additional time sleeping will help improve the happiness level but I'm sure it plays a part. =P

Next, it says to be kind. I know we all can attest to this that whenever we treat other people with kindness, we have that warm feeling inside. I think that warm feeling is a sign of happiness. There are many ways to be kind and also many ways to not be un-kind (or mean). I admit sometimes it's so easy to fall to the dark side and unleash the mean-ness in everyone, me namely. But I will sometimes try to snap out of it and remind myself that everyone's fighting their own battles, their inner demons, so why must I add more to it? I had this conversation with someone I'm close to the other day on how sometimes we can't help but just be mean to people who we think may have hurt us, but we also must remember.. Who are we to hold such a grudge to the point that they are all we talk about and speak ill about? It will only consume us. If we are not happy about something, talk it out, confront them, ask them. Don't just pent it up inside until you can no longer hold it and then explode. So please.. 

T-A-L-K.

The last one for me is a bit difficult. I am still unsure of my purpose here. I see all these successful people who I look up to, who I aspire to be, and I see how they love doing what they do. I am lacking in that, I think. I can get pretty passionate about something for a while and a few months later I will get bored and just quit. This has happened so many times. I really am inconsistent. But In shaa Allah, I will try my best to find a purpose, whatever it may be. And I hope whatever it is, Allah SWT will guide me and bless me on my journey. Aaaamin.

Now, what?

Well.... I haven't really tackled the main obstacle now have I? ...........

Super Ibu

The past few days have been so wonderful with Ibu and Najib being here. Initially the plan was to just go out and eat eat eat, but we actually managed to sneak in some shopping! Teehee! Ibu helped clean up the closet and the pile of washed laundry is now no longer a mountain; more like a hill? Haha. I can't believe how everything seemed doable when she's around. My beautiful super-Ibu who is so selfless. Always thinking about everyone else before she thinks about herself.

While she was here, all she could think about was what to get for Babah and the boys. Spent most of the shopping time to buy Babah's golf attire and stuff for the boys. I guess its true what they say about mothers, they always put themselves last. I hope when the time comes for me to be a mother, I will be as great as my Ibu.

May Allah SWT grant my Ibu a long healthy life and that Allah grants her doa of becoming a grandma soon. Aaamin Ya Rabbal Alamin. I can't wait for my dream of getting to see my Ibu a reality. I can't wait for us to be back in Brunei for good.

Selfish

Sometimes I wish I could just go for at least one week without getting sick but then I would slap some sense into myself and remind myself that sickness are also blessings from Allah SWT. He is reminding you that He loves you and wants to hear your doas, your prayers. And I remind myself too of this Hadith - “Whenever a Muslim is afflicted with a hardship, sickness, sadness, worry, harm, or depression even a thorn’s prick, Allah expiates his sins because of it” [Bukhari].

But there are times how I wish I could just go about doing what I want to do without feeling any pain. and then it seems so selfish as compared to all the blessings Allah SWT has given me. Astaghfirullah.

Hijab Journey

It has been years since I have started donning the hijab. The first time I ever felt at peace wearing the hijab was when we were back in the US. I think it's true what they say that when it's time for you to wear the hijab, Allah SWT will give you the hidayah to do so. Mine came in the forms of a few dreams. I won't mention here what my dreams were about, but my family and closest of friends know this part. It has been pointed out to me though by people who knew me, that it was funny that I actually started to wear the hijab in the US. I had some heart to heart talk with some people who I looked up to and they gave me wonderful advices about it and told me to start with a nawaitu. It had to be from the heart.

When I first started wearing it, I was very nervous. Before wearing it, whenever we go out, people would always confuse us for Filipinos and at one point, Bolivians. The latter one was funny. My husband and I were just about to step into the train from Friendship Heights; he was just talking to a random guy who was going on the same train and the guy actually asked if were Bolivians. To which we thought, huh? So he told us in this exact words, "Oh! I thought you were Bolivians, because you know.... of the height?" HAHAHAHAHAHA. It was insulting but we laughed it off. Anyways, so.. when I started to wear the hijab, I was actually pretty nervous to walk around DC. DC is known to be the hub for diplomats as the US government is based mostly in DC, so it's not surprising to see Muslim diplomats wearing the hijab.. but still. I was still so new to it. Alhamdulillah, my first few months of hijab went by so well. Then came the nasty part. I was walking with a group of friends somewhere downtown DC and some of us were wearing the hijab. We walked by a street where there were many homeless people just sitting or sleeping at the side of the street and we walked across one guy who was asking people for money. We didn't really notice it at first until he said to us as we walked passed "hey! You! I fought for your country!!" In my head, we should just walk fast to get to the nearest place. He didn't seem too happy that we were ignoring him and he then said this with disgust "You stupid muslims! I was in your country and fought for you!" We were all in shock but we walked away. When we managed to sit down somewhere, we still were pretty much taken aback by what the guy said until finally we laughed... and laughed some more. Well first, how ignorant was he to think all muslims are from the same country? But that was my first ever experience of that.

The second time was much scarier as it happened in our own neighbourhood. Our neighbourhood is known to be a very safe place as the place is prowled by police cars - it is known to be one of the more upscale neighbourhoods. I have always felt safe walking around the neighbourhood alone but not at night though. So one day, I was just walking across the street to pick up my take out;  one of my favourite dishes at the Cheesecake Factory when suddenly some guy suddenly came up to me and yelled "Go back to your country!!! We don't need more muslims here! Go back!" I was shit scared as he got really close to me with his hands just waving around in front of me. Next thing I know, I was pulled back by one guy who pulled me inside the building and another guy kept the angry guy from entering through the door. I could still hear him say "Why are you defending the Muslim???" and the usual "Go back to your country!" I was so scared so I cried. The guy who pulled me was nice enough and took me to the nearby security officer in the building and told me to stay there. He said to me "Please ignore what he said. That's his own thoughts but no one elses." I managed to smile through my sobbings. I called my husband and told him about what happened. He was in the middle of accompanying some delegates from Brunei so he couldn't get out of it and I understood. So he has asked one of the male local staffs to come pick up and send me home. The guy who pulled me into the building came again to check up on me and said this "Don't worry, they won't let him into the building. He is with them now." So he was a po-po! He asked me if I needed assistance to go back home and told him no and that I was just going to stay in there for a while. I was still hungry and had to pick up my garlic noodles from the Cheesecake Factory! LOL. One of the local staffs finally came and picked me up and sent me back home. That was the last time I have ever experienced hate from anyone towards my hijab. When I got home, I was thankful to Allah that nothing bad happened and after updating my family on what happened, I had my dinner in peace. =P When my husband got home, he had this look on worry on his face. I told him I was alright and thankful that the po-po was there in time. Much later on, I found out that he and his "guys" were NUPs! Phewh! But Alhamdulillah nevertheless. From that day onwards, I have never received any treatments as bad as that. There were still some judgemental looks here and there, but never anything as vocal as the previous two.

Anyway, those are my memories of the first year of me wearing the hijab. Alhamdulillah I have managed to always keep it on when I go out. I even wear it at home sometimes when there are people of the non-muhrims around.

I know that wearing the hijab is no big deal for most people as it comes naturally for them, but to me, it was. I still struggle in other aspects of how to become a better muslim, but I try. Pasang nawaitu, okay.

Unwell

I have days when I would just stay in our bedroom, lights off, curtains closed and tv off. These days I would just stock up on my favourite strawberry YanYan, water (loads of water!), panadol extra & koolfever! Okay, sometimes the tv will be on and I'll just watch the shows that I have recorded. Mostly Gumball & Phineas and Ferb! These are my go-to tv shows for now...... *sad* 

Well.... that day is today! I have skipped some appointments just so I can have extra sleep in time. Days like these I just wish I was back in Brunei so my ibu can manjakan me & massage my forehead. She would even let me sleep in their room and she wouldn't even mind if I asked her to sejukkan aircond. I love her and miss her! I can't wait for my parents to come over.

Clean up the cats' room  - DONE

Laundry (Stacks and stacks of it!) - MOSTLY DONE

Ironing - LOL

Throw out all the rubbish - DONE

Clean up the mini office room downstairs and maybe try convert it into the new cats' room. Atleast it's air-conditioned. We'll see.... - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Divide all the stuff that we no longer wear / use into the donate or throw boxes. - HMMMM... NOPE

Clean the carpets - NOT REALLY...

Send some stuff for dry cleaning - NOPE.....

Clean the area by the pool - WHO AM I KIDDING??

Anywhu, I slept through the morning and early afternoon so now I feel much better Alhamdulillah. I had time to go through my to-do list that I had few days ago :

Conclusion - Yes,  I was overambitious.

DIY Swiffer pads

I have posted a link to a pinterest post two days ago regarding DIY swiffer pads. I attempted to make my own again today. I decided to give it a few tweaks. For this, I used :

-8 pieces of clean white cloth
-1 cup of water
-1 cup of distilled white vinegar - white vinegar is very effective in cleaning germs and bacteria.
-a few drops of apple cider vinegar - the part time maids that help clean our place normally uses apple cider vinegar on the floor before mopping. According to them its a very good disinfectant.
-10-15 drops of essential oils (I chose Tea Tree, Grapefruit, Purification & Joy)
-2 ziplock bags
-a few drops of dishwashing soap (not in photo)

All you have to do is mix all the liquid stuff altogether in a bowl. Then place the cloths into the ziplock bags. Divide the liquids into two portions and pour each portion into both ziplock bags equally. Seal the bags and shake shake shake. 😂 this is what it will look like.

 You can't really see the liquids as all have been absorbed by the cloths. Next, you can just place them onto your Swiffers! 

The good thing about this is that all the ingredients are natural so you'll know what is going on your floors. (Update : I just read that tea tree oil is harmful for cats, so I won't be using that anymore in my swiffer pad mixtures.)

Carbonara-ish

Last night the husband went to get some ingredients for dinner. I decided to make spaghetti carbonara - the no egg recipe. The recipe called for garlic, heavy cream, butter, parmesan cheese, mushroom, beef & ofcourse the spaghetti pasta. Unfortunately he got the mozarella instead of parmesan. He felt so bad, poor guy. So these were what we had.

Fortunately it turned out alright. We could smell the difference tho as the mozarella we know and love normally comes on top of pizza, lasagna or ontop of the normal spaghetti dishes. He said it tasted good..different, but good. LOL.

This is how it turned out.

A little too cheesy for my liking. One thing for sure, we will never use mozarella ever again for carbonara. Heee!

The financial challenge

It's been almost two years since we have started living in KL and we do realise that we still have not managed to save as much as we'd like. Could it be that we have been living right next to Suria KLCC for almost a year now? Or the fact that we order in almost everyday? Or that we rely heavily on the taxi services? Or that everything is so expensive here? Or that we really just don't plan our finances properly? We don't even have children yet and here we are, trying hard to save up monthly for that rainy day.

I have decided that March will be the month I try to curb my spending (Ask me again by middle of March). I figured we don't really need the weekly maid service since we are trying to minimalise our home; everything we don't need will be boxed up and be put in the store. So, less stuff, less dirt to clean, right? Right! I am still in my 3 day challenge to clean up the house and trying to check everything on the checklist I created yesterday. So far, no good. Here I am just typing away, while sitting comfortable in our humongous sofa watching Sex and The City on Netflix. I promise myself tomorrow will be more productive. It was supposed to start today but we ended up going to Pavi at noon, had nasi ayam for lunch, had reflexology at Kenko and spent a good amount of time browsing through Daiso (scored some stuff for more of my DIY household cleaning chores! Woot!) ok wait....the good part at SATC is coming up! not the part where Samantha had new neighbours! hahaha the whole Carrie getting stood up at the wedding bit! ok now it's stuck to this part! story of my life!

Anywhu! Back in Pavilion, we went into Parkson and actually looked at the dining section; plates, glasses, the works! We felt so grown up! LOL! We decided that we would get some new china this coming payday. Well.. we would have to now rethink that since I just thought of this whole less spending challenge.. but it was nice to gaze and dream of all the dinner hosting we would do.

Okay the Mister is back from getting groceries for our carbonara dinner! Bye.

Swiffer no more

My sleeping pattern has been way off for a while now. I would fall asleep past midnight and I can say that the astro being in the room is highly contributing to this. I had a conversation with one of the ladies here about sleep and she mentioned how she is pretty disciplined in her sleep timings. She would already be off to dreamland by 9.30pm. My mind was blown away! How? She said that she would switch off the tv at a certain time and then she would doze off. I wish I could do that! My husband and I, we both need that in our lives. I think if we were to have enough sleep, we both would be more energised in the mornings, more fit to go through about our daily lives and maybe would even get stressed less.

So I will try to put that to the test....obviously won't start tonight as it is almost midnight and here I am on Pinterest, browsing through ikea, blogging, watching Second Chance on Fox & at the same time wondering what our plans are for tomorrow. I've mentioned to my husband that I'd like to go out after we finish cleaning up. laughs... Cleaning up is definitely hard in our household. We have ALOT of stuff that needs to be organised. We have the boxes, we have the labels, we have the time, but what we don't have is the motivation to actually get everything done pronto. Okay, so maybe that's another thing that needs to be put to test. Thanks to the New Year holidays, my husband will be free from work till Tuesday so we have three more days to attempt to finish cleaning up the house! I must say we did a good job today. We've cleaned up the master bedroom and bathroom! *good job R&L!* 

Thanks to this pin on Pinterest, I actually managed to make my own Swiffer pads! I have always been a fan of Swiffer products ever since i first laid eyes on it while going through Giant in the US. I never did like to do household chores, especially mopping! So when my husband and I got our first Swiffer Wet Jet for our little apartment in DC, I got abit rajin. a. bit. LOL. We even bought some extras when we did our last minute shoppings before going back to Brunei for good. I had a joke with some of friends on one of my last days in DC while we were having one of my farewell lunches, that they have to now become Swiffer agents and have to ship them back to Brunei for me...at that time, I was very serious! When we got to KL for our next posting, I was happy to find a similar product since I left my Swiffer back in Brunei. After using them a few times, I was disappointed that it was not as good as the Swiffer. So I eventually stopped using it and went back to the conventional mop & pail. Boo! That was until I saw the pin a few days ago and today I finally decided to give it a go! I had all the requirements!

• White vinegar - check
• Distilled water - check
• Cloths - check
• Ziplock bag - check!

I am happy to say that I have found a somewhat slightly similar version of the Swiffer Sweeper wet pads! Woot! They work so well too..and I can just wash the cloths and re-use them! 

So now I can try to tackle the very hard to do tiles in the living room tomorrow! Here's what we actually have to finish within the next three days :

• Clean up the cats' room 
• Laundry (Stacks and stacks of it!)
• Ironing
• Throw out all the rubbish
• Clean up the mini office room downstairs and maybe try convert it into the new cats' room. Atleast it's air-conditioned. We'll see....
• Divide all the stuff that we no longer wear / use into the donate or throw boxes.
• Clean the carpets
• Send some stuff for dry cleaning
• Clean the area by the pool

Overambitious? I think so! I had to stop typing down more because I got a little overwhelmed! LOL!

It's basically tomorrow now.. today? Anyways! Gonna attempt to get some sleep now and pray that I won't have nightmares about cleaning up the house again.

Archie alternative

Typing this as I wait in the hospital for my next appointment. I am glad I brought along my macbook. Normally I would just get an Archie or whatever new books they have at the tuck shop and read, but thought I'd save money today and just go online...and browse through online shops (save money? say whaaaa?)

I have been thinking of getting this day bed for my office for so long! I figure it would go nice in the home office for days when I just want to read a book in the office or watch my tv series. SOOOO productive huh? Just this morning my husband mentioned that he wants to turn the office into a home office / prayer room where we can mengaji too. I love the idea and that got me to pinterest! LOL! So many ideas. I know what to do now in my spare time.

Okay, going now!

Obsession over cosmetics

It's not normal I tell you. My obsession with cosmetics started when I was so young! I remember playing with my ibu's lipsticks back when we used to live in Sumbiling and I was still sleeping in my parents' room. I would sit down on her vanity area and play with her makeup while she's at work. Ibu would come back home with a clown of a daughter with lipstick smudges all over my face! To this day, I still feel bad for ruining lots and lots of her makeup but I make it all up to her by buying her makeup every now and then.

Back when we were still in DC, I would send her packages every other month, filled with goodies including makeup from CVS, Sephora or MAC. (She now has more makeup than me!!!!! =P ) We were lucky enough to have the outlets back in DC that sells MAC cosmetics for a fraction of the price and I would go crazy there stocking up on goodies for Ibu and I. This might sound silly but I had a lingerie drawer which I used to store my make up and I had plenty still in their boxes unopened that I actually started selling most of them off or give some to my friends in DC. Whenever MAC releases their limited edition goodies came out, my friends at MAC would text me to let me know. Our second apartment in DC was just a few minutes walk to a MAC store so we would drop by often...often enough that I made two good friends there; Thu & April. The MAC store was right next to one of the entrances to go to the Friendship Heights metro station so we pass by it almost everyday that my husband sometimes would opt for us to go all the way across to Mazza Gallerie (the other entrance to the Friendship Heights metro station) so we will avoid passing by the MAC store! =P He has no faith in me. LOL! Oh! MAC is also only two shops away from Sephora! CVS is right across the street in Chevy Chase Pavilion. Sigh! I miss Friendship Heights.

The MAC store next to the Friendship Heights station.

The Sephora store two doors away from MAC. *sigh* i miss...

When we got back home to Brunei, I had a little breather since there were not many options for makeup. But when we got to Malaysia, ohmy! On my first week, I thought I could be good and only buy what was necessary. My Laura Mercier Silk Creme foundation was almost empty so I thought I would just go in to get it and get out. So I did just that......and also walked away with a  few other stuff. LOL. Skip almost two years to today, I still have the same obsession with buying cosmetics as I did back in DC almost 8 years ago...but I have managed to tone down and only buy what I need... HAHAHAHAHA. Okay I couldn't even type it with a straight face! =P I know my obsession will eventually die down. But for now, I shall try my best to refrain myself from getting unnecessary stuff!

Teamwork and then some.

The only thing consistent with me is my inconsistency. It has been two weeks since my last post! It has been a very busy two weeks & I have learnt so much; mostly on teamwork. I believe that anything can go well with great teamwork and it has been proven in the past two week.

We had our first coffee morning organised by our ladies whereby we have invited around 80 ladies to a coffee morning session with two presentations by two well known presenters ; 1) floral arrangement and 2) the art of table setting. The day went by so fast and it was very obvious that all the preparations and hard work didn't go in vain. Alhamdulillah. Teamwork was the key and we are blessed to have a few ladies who are very dedicated in making the event a great one and being led by a very hard working and even more dedicated patron who have done everything she can to ensure everything goes smooth. I sometimes wonder where she gets all the energy from. I reckon when someone is as passionate as she is, all the energy will come from within.

One event down and we are now onto the next! Something on a slightly bigger scale that will require more dedication and commitment. (T minus 25 days!!!!) We spent a good amount of hours today just doing research, meeting key people who can assist us and also discussed on what to expect during those days. It didn't help that I started my morning with waking up to a migraine but it didn't deter my spirit as I know that all the other ladies are taking time out of their schedule for this too. Thankful that I pushed myself to go as I got to visit Masjid Putra (Putra Mosque) in Putrajaya! Managed to even squeeze a Sangkaya splurge with the ladies! LOL!

Something to look forward to - the 4 day weekend! My husband and I planned to just stay home & clean. Oh!!! My first session with my personal trainer this year starts next week. I need all the luck I can get! Need to shed all these *ahem* cuteness off!