Our baby stroller

My husband and I have been waiting patiently (sometimes impatiently) for 7 years to have a child to call our own, a baby to love and care for. When we got married, we both knew that we wanted to have children soon. Nothing to do with peer pressure whatsoever, but just that we both love children.

We were lucky to get pregnant a few times, Alhamdulillah.. But Allah knew it wasn't the right time for us to be parents yet, I believe. I have had several miscarriages, and it doesn't get easier every time. The heartbreak is there. The blaming; me blaming myself - could I have done something different and eventually keep the baby? But Allah knows best. =)

Back in the US, we were very positive we would get pregnant. I had a miscarriage earlier that year on due to severe stress over something so stupid. It really was stupid. But I got hopeful. As that miscarriage was the second one in a period of 2 years. So I thought, the third time will be successful. I went for fertility check up and everything seemed good. We went and did a fertility treatment (which cost us and arm and a leg and left us broke and in debt for a while) and we thought "hey! This feels right!".

It was about 1-2 months before we were due to go back home so we figured we should take advantage of the remaining months in the US to shop for stuff because if the fertility treatment worked, we would need it. LOL. We went ahead and bought a baby stroller because it's much cheaper in the US. We thought, if we don't get pregnant yet, we can always give it to any of our friends. We bought some baby clothes, all the while imagining how our future baby would look in it, boy or girl. Our friend took us to Carters at the outlet weeks before we left for good. I told my friend that they were for gifts.. Because I didn't want her to think I was weird buying baby clothes for a baby that hasn't been conceived yet. LOL.

We eventually gave all the clothes away when we got back to Brunei as the treatment was unsuccessful. But we held onto the stroller.  Now, almost 4 years since we first got the stroller, I don't know why but we both are still so hesitant to give it away. It's still there in storage at my in-laws' gathering dust. There's still that glimmer of hope that we would eventually get to use it soon. Aaamin. One day you'll see us going around with that baby stroller, with our beautiful baby in it. One day. Pray for us =)

Sorry, skin!

I have always been used to my skin being oily and I have accepted the fact that whenever I have foundation on, it will always look "dewy" when infact "oh honey, it's not the dewy effect, it's the oily effect!" It all changed last week. The husband asked me to help him get something new for his facial regime from *okay breathe* SEPHORA *breathe*. He took my hand and led me to Sephora. Girls, it felt just like one of those photos that's everywhere on instagram, twitter, tumblr, etc of the person being led to somewhere beautiful. *sigh* Too bad I never got to take the photo as I was just too gobsmacked that he actually suggested to go into Sephora. Normally, my Sephora trips consisted of him either waiting outside and playing with his phone or just standing still somewhere inside, also playing with his phone. So imagine the temporary excitement I got that day at the counter, when the cashier asked for a Sephora card, he said to me "How much should I spend to get one? Maybe I should get my own card?" *my heart skipped a beat* and then he laughed and said "I'm just joking, yang!" Don't joke over something like that, don't!

We went in and asked for recommendations from one of the Sephora girls. I have always wanted to try the Glamglow Youthcleanse Daily Exfoliating cleanser (even the name is a mouthful! LOL) so I suggested to the husband he should give it a go.. so I can borrow. Hee! Oh boy, I regret that decision now! To be fair, the SA did warn that it will cause breakouts initially & the skin will get dry so she recommended to slather on moisturizer after washing our face with the cleanser. So me, knowing how my skin is oily, decided to try give it a go that very night and forego the moisturizer! It smells amazing, btw! So I tried it on again the next night, again without the moisturizer. One week later, my face is in pain! In pain! And I am breaking out! It hurts like hish! Seriously! It's severely dry & it's peeling around the forehead, nose, cheeks, chin.. okay basically the whole face! It hurts more knowing that it's been so kind to my husband's skin and I can actually say his skin does look amazing!

I have been spraying my face with the Caudalie Grape Water every now and then when I can feel the stinging and I can safely say it helps a bit. My friend recommended me something from Lancome & I think I will go to the counter today and try to score myself some samples! I hope that I will eventually find something that can help. But for now, this post is dedicated to you my dearest skin. I am sorry. I really am. Sorry that I haven't been treating you well. Sorry that I have been exposing you to all these cleansers. I am sorry. Please feel better soon =(

Procrastination? We decide later. Haha

Typing this 15 mins before 9am. I want to say that it's going to be a productive day but I am so scared that it might actually end up with me being snuggled up in bed and binge-watching all the shows I recorded on Astro on Demand. The hubs have offered to set up his PS3 in the room so I can actually watch Netflix but no! That would lead to me saying byebye social life (what social life? LOLs).

Seriously. I need to actually get up and do something. Haha. Will update in a bit.

11.20am 
Accomplishment : Cooked indomie, watched about 10 mins of Phineas & Ferb while downing the indomie and now here I am sitting in bed. I shall now immerse myself with Sophie Kinsella's Shopaholic to the Rescue! I bought the book early this year and have yet to read past page 9. Update later!

4.40pm
Accomplishment : Book still on page 14. Haha! I decided to catch up on the shows I downloaded onto my macbook & I actually fell asleep. I woke up like an hour after I think with the craziest migraine - what a day to be out of Koolfever! Normally I would patch the Koolfever pads onto my neck & my forehead, down 2 panadol extras and in an hour or so, I'd feel better. Today the panadol extras will have to do. I had my first ever seizure again last night after so long & my poor husband got so worried. I promise to actually make it a point to go see my neurologist again once Mu'izz is here.

8.27pm
Accomplishment : Nothing more. Haha. Husband made us dinner which was wonderful of him. Still down with the migraine. Amazing husband bought Koolfever for me so hopefully I'll feel much better soon.

Cotton Candy

I have this weird obsession with cotton candy. If you ask my husband why, he will probably tell you of that one time after my surgery when I was still high on drugs and I told him that I wanted to get cotton candy ice-cream! Prior to that I have never even heard of or tasted cotton candy ice-cream. So the day after I got discharged, my husband took me to Avenue K and got me cotton candy ice-cream from Baskin Robbin. Omg sooooo good!!

Lately I have been saving images from google with cotton candy themes & reminding myself constantly to print them so I can post them up on the home office wall....few weeks after, the wall is still cotton-candy-image-less. hahahaha. Okay next weekend. Maybe..

Seriously.. how pretty is that?? 

A friend of mine who I have finally told of this blog to and most probably the first person to actually read the blog, have suggested I should add photos to my posts so she can imagine what was going through when all the things I write about happened. I think that will be fun! So I shall add photos! =D