I managed to take about a month break from social media and I felt great!
The first few days of my social media detox, I can't lie.. I was discontented. "What if my friends don't know what I'm eating?" "No one will know that I went to the gym today" "What if I am depriving my friends from seeing photos of my cats?" "Who will see all my artistic photos of my rose latte?" HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
I survived. I know. How strong. =P
Before I went on the detox, I informed my family and bestfriends that I won't be on facebook and instagram. *queue gasp* But thank goodness for whatsapp. I could reach everyone through there instead. Whatsapp's not social media right? As I type this, I could imagine all the eye rolls from anyone attempting to read this crap. Big deal, Liyana. You're making a whole blog post about one month of not posting your usual crap on social media.
But, in all seriousness.. I quite enjoyed it. I managed to take my time to finish my last 2 neuro rehabilitation sessions. Alhamdulillah. 25 sessions since 2014. I have never felt better. I look back on my first session there and I remember at that time, I could not for the life of me figure out how the sessions would help me in any way. I dreaded going. I get asked by friends sometimes what I do during the sessions. Some sessions, it is just about balancing my body through movements, while some sessions it's just some sessions on the treadmill followed by monitoring how I walk after. Since I used to faint alot and with the surgery and all, it was compulsory to undergo these sessions. I only had 5 primary sessions but after the 5 sessions, I started to see how it helped me and ended up paying for 20 additional sessions out of my own pocket. There were some sessions that included seeing the psychiatrist. I loved mine. Dr Hamidah (she even has the same name as my Ibu! =P) is great! I always feel like I achieved something after each session with her. She has helped me through my depression and anxiety. What I love about her is that she always reminds me of the Islamic aspects of everything at the same time. She reminds me that mental health is nothing to embarassed about and that it shouldn't be a taboo to speak of it. I have always felt that when I talk about my depression, people will judge me and will point out that I have weak iman or that maybe I have not been praying enough.. but Dr Hamidah, she encourages me to talk about it. She encourages me to open up to my loved ones about it... and I did. Alhamdulillah, my parents were very open about it when I first told them about how I was diagnosed with depression and they didn't judge me as I thought they would. One giant leap.
Anyway, I digress! As usual. =P
One of the reasons why I went on the detox was that whenever I see photos of babies, I get so upset. Sometimes without warning, tears would flow out after seeing photos of my friends and their children... and it's no one's fault... Another reason was that I was also envious seeing photos of my friends hanging out, without me. I felt left out. Ofcourse I couldn't hang with them as I am all the way here in KL and they're home in Brunei.. but again.. there's that feeling. Oh.. and then there's all the onlineshops! Hahahaha.
So, I took time out. One week into the detox, I was agitated. Two weeks in, okay lah... can lah..
I went to the gym a few times a week while narrowly escaping the personal trainer every single time. Sorry, Lukman. Nothing against you. I just hate that one hour I have with you. Hahahahaha.
I would sit down at dotty's and enjoy my rose latte (so bougie =P) and sometimes if I feel like I deserve it, I'd order the turkey slice too. Soooo goooood.
During the last few days of the detox, I thought about how I'd be going back to work and I got excited. I made a list of what to get before heading back to work. I don't know how everyone at HQ will be. I've heard all the rumors about me through colleagues and to be honest, I am so nervous. Some people back home have mentioned about how I tried to get out of work and made up my sickness. To them, I shall say..... "no one in their right mind would purposely fall flat face to the ground so many times to skip work. To be poked and prodded by needles all the time. Having to stay at the hospital countless days while I could sleep at the comfort of my own bed each night. Go through major surgery as well, JUST TO SKIP 8-9 HOURS OF DAILY WORK." My Ibu always reminds me that the truth will always prevail and that everyone else who were involved in the rumors will one day get what they deserve... even those who knew the truths but chose to remain quiet.
Whoah. Again, I digress. HAHAHAHHAA.
Liyana needs to go on a further detox I think.
Till then, goodnight or good morning wherever you are =)
