I started work on 2nd January this year, and I can safely say, it has been better than I expected. Ofcourse, there's the occasional disappointments and the thing that I feared most (my history in KL) is rather part of a permanent record which sorta affects my current work, but it's okay.
لاحول ولا قوة إلا بالله العلي العظيم
“There is neither might nor power except with Allah”
It took a while to adjust myself at work but slowly I got the hang of it. From my first month back at work, I was surrounded by awesome colleagues who made me look forward to going to work every day (I hope you're reading this, bbg!). It reminded me of how I was at work in 2008-2009 before I left for DC... before all the pain. It reminded me why I loved working.
We also had our first full Ramadhan in Brunei this year after being away for a few years. I love that we get to do tarawih with both sets of parents (on different occasions). I love that we get to break fast with family members and friends. First day of Raya was spent with both sides of the families, Alhamdulillah.
On the second day of Hari Raya and the day before my birthday, we lost Archie and Snowball. Some bad people broke into our home and stole them and their carriers. The police came over to look at the scene and no idea what else they did to investigate. Our hearts were broken..still are. Archie and Snowball are our babies that we have raised since they were born... Archie and Snowball are both Bella's babies... our babies... We pray that wherever they are, they are safe and cared for and we pray that whoever stole them will get what they deserve.. Aaamiiin ya Rabbal alamin.. It has been a tough time for R and I but we are so blessed to have family members who have been there for us since that day. We believe Allah SWT has something in store for us, in shaa Allah, something much better...
I was reading through my old entries and I realised that I had so much anger in me. I have tried my best to slowly become a calmer person (tried, okay! hahaha) but I guess sometimes I do fall off the wagon. However, I love seeing my progress. I learn to accept my flaws. When previously, I hated alot about myself, now I learn to embrace it. I have learnt to like the sound of my own voice... oh how annoyed I used to be with it. I think even R notices how I am happier now. Nothing to do with anti depressants or any other medications (have stopped taking anti depressants as of June 2018, Alhamdulillah, and no longer need it according to my psychiatrist).
We are now less than 3 months away from 2020 and I am looking forward to see what it has in store for me. I can only pray that there are many positives that will outweigh the negatives. Aaamiiin.
Goodnight or good morning wherever you are =)
