My husband and I have been waiting patiently (sometimes impatiently) for 7 years to have a child to call our own, a baby to love and care for. When we got married, we both knew that we wanted to have children soon. Nothing to do with peer pressure whatsoever, but just that we both love children.
We were lucky to get pregnant a few times, Alhamdulillah.. But Allah knew it wasn't the right time for us to be parents yet, I believe. I have had several miscarriages, and it doesn't get easier every time. The heartbreak is there. The blaming; me blaming myself - could I have done something different and eventually keep the baby? But Allah knows best. =)
Back in the US, we were very positive we would get pregnant. I had a miscarriage earlier that year on due to severe stress over something so stupid. It really was stupid. But I got hopeful. As that miscarriage was the second one in a period of 2 years. So I thought, the third time will be successful. I went for fertility check up and everything seemed good. We went and did a fertility treatment (which cost us and arm and a leg and left us broke and in debt for a while) and we thought "hey! This feels right!".
It was about 1-2 months before we were due to go back home so we figured we should take advantage of the remaining months in the US to shop for stuff because if the fertility treatment worked, we would need it. LOL. We went ahead and bought a baby stroller because it's much cheaper in the US. We thought, if we don't get pregnant yet, we can always give it to any of our friends. We bought some baby clothes, all the while imagining how our future baby would look in it, boy or girl. Our friend took us to Carters at the outlet weeks before we left for good. I told my friend that they were for gifts.. Because I didn't want her to think I was weird buying baby clothes for a baby that hasn't been conceived yet. LOL.
We eventually gave all the clothes away when we got back to Brunei as the treatment was unsuccessful. But we held onto the stroller. Now, almost 4 years since we first got the stroller, I don't know why but we both are still so hesitant to give it away. It's still there in storage at my in-laws' gathering dust. There's still that glimmer of hope that we would eventually get to use it soon. Aaamin. One day you'll see us going around with that baby stroller, with our beautiful baby in it. One day. Pray for us =)
